There is a reason most people suffer for years, wrecking havoc with their lives, for want of what is the simplest of things to solve. Most people would rather die than think. They would rather suffer than change. They will never realize their potential or achieve any of their goals, without exception. They will dwell in desperation and live in despair clinging to hope in a drowning clutch. Trying to change the whole world, which they never will, rather than make the effort to change themselves. It’s the attitude of “I can accept anything expect that it’s me and it’s my fault”.
From a logical perspective this seems an absurd position especially when the result is a loss of potential and a life of chaos. Some of the most brilliant minds are reduced to waste by this core ideal. This core belief distorts everything, attempts to rewrite events in the past to fit the narrative, all in a desperate attempt to protect the state. Of course this emotionally is experienced as protecting oneself and without a guide there is no way to tell the difference.
Let me illustrate. I had a friend whose life was literally chaos and his actions were not just impacting himself but he was now affecting his family. I suggested he make an inventory of the series of events that brought him to this point in his life. He identified that he would get upset with his girl, post on social media, go to the bar to consult with his friends, get drunk and then drive home. We then took a look at results of this course of action. He got in several accidents: hit a tree, got several tickets, a few DUI’s and ended up in a ditch. I then asked him if he sees a pattern or something he could change. He response was “Yeah, I just need to get rid of the car”.
Mental illness, like codependency and most disorders are in fact easy to fix if one can accept that the person you need to change is you and that the problem is you don’t know how. You can’t figure it out. You need to learn and that means you have to be willing to be taught. The danger is if you remain mentally ill long enough then you end up with a mental disease. Something that is beyond your control.